Our story begins with a letter, the center point that divides our story in two. For this is where the hero abandons the naive ideals of youth, and the aspiration for domestic peace. Cynicism, nihilism and moral pragmatism are now the poetry of his heart. For long life, his career, reputation... none worth anything to him once his beloved declared to loved him not. With a death wish he embarks to Italy, hoping to lose the memory of Esmeralda from his soul... for he wasn't willing to let it go on his own.
March 11 of 1805
My dearest Esmeralda
You write to me expressing the vulgar lies from our acquaintances? I guarantee you no "vulgar lie" was told concerning my weeping at your departure. I'm made of flesh you know, regardless of how much you've boasted there to be iron in me chest. If this is insufficient to prove my feelings to you, then I have no other proof to offer.
Heaven knows I wish you happiness, despite it being away from my arms. Perhaps one day you shall acknowledge the truth of what I again promise and vow, that no other shall ever hold the place in my affection which is and shall be a most sacred altar to you, till I'm nothing.
I never knew till I met you, the madness off... I cannot speak, this is no time for words, my dear and beloved girl! I cannot express myself... But I still have a pride, a melancholy pleasure! I suffer of that which you thought me hardly capable of... You know me not.
It is indeed true I am leaving Spain, no, not for my home country of England, I can say so much. As to my true destination I shall keep it to myself.
Last time we met you seemed heartbroken towards the affection I held towards you, you asked me to "promise not to love you", Ah Esmeralda, it is past promising, but I shall view your petitions for the proper motive, for I know deep down you're pure kindness and you suffer when you witness others suffer. But I shall never cease to feel that which you have already witnessed, and more, that can only be known but to my own heart. May God protect, forgive and bless you, ever and even more than ever.
Until I fall, my love ever belongs to you.
Your most attached
-Richthofen.
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